


Free to be us

by fridarules, naniquena



Series: Holidays in family [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Drunk John Winchester, Fireworks, Fourth of July, Kid Sam Winchester, M/M, Pre-Slash, Prequel, Protective Dean Winchester, Teen Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-22 23:04:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7457263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fridarules/pseuds/fridarules, https://archiveofourown.org/users/naniquena/pseuds/naniquena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fireworks and July 4th</p>
            </blockquote>





	Free to be us

**Author's Note:**

> We want to thank so much to our lovely beta. ASH!!!  
> Baby we love you!!! Thanks for the good work!

**July 1st**

 

The brothers startled as the door was slammed shut. 

 

The cheap motel door, which had already been about to break in pieces before it was used to prove a point, managed to hold together… barely. 

 

The fact that John WInchester had slammed the door on his own children didn’t seem to affect his determination to grab the Impala and drive to the nearest bar. He was already half drunk and fully pissed off anyway; why not use that extra frustration to make some money hustling pool, and maybe even finish with a good bar fight? He needed any activity that would make him feel like a normal man, and help him to forget the failure he knew he was. 

 

What other than a failure would sleep on the couch without being aware that his wife was being murdered in their baby’s nursery? Who other than a miserable bastard would drag his kids on a never-ending road trip, paying no attention to their basic needs of stability or education? Who other than a failure would raise his elder son to be a good little  _ soldier _ so that John could shove the responsibility for his youngest’s care and early education onto his oldest son’s shoulders while he sought revenge?

 

Being the failure he was, John Winchester didn’t feel any remorse ending an argument with his younger son by just turning on his heels, barely keeping himself from hitting Sam on the face the way he’d hit Dean the day before. Damn kid was always putting himself in between them, as if he were Sammy’s protector or something, as if John wasn’t the father in their fucking family.  He’d hit his older son and he was such a failure that he couldn’t even be a man and apologize. That was when John had started his downward spiral of alcoholism; their second fight in two days didn’t seem to be helping the situation. 

 

John’s grip on the Impala’s steering wheel was firm, hard to the point of draining all the blood from his knuckles, and his brow was furrowed with his lips in a tight line. He parked the car behind the bar to keep her away from the drunk clientele and their alcohol-induced fights. 

 

The night was warm but John was shivering. And yet, instead of going in right away, he remained out there, hands together as he laid his arms on the car top, forehead pressed against the cold metal, breath coming in puffs as he tried not to cry because he’s not that  _ pussy _ .

 

* * *

 

“It’s gonna be alright, Sammy… don’t be so hard on him!” Dean pleaded, pale face accentuating the purple mark their dad put there the day before - not for the first time. 

 

Dean had always been a chubby kid, but at sixteen he was already on his way to becoming a massive guy - broad shoulders, solid jaw and the posture to make anyone think twice before pissing him off. And yet that night, with one hand on the doorknob, he felt so young and helpless that he couldn’t turn to face his baby brother. He heard the engine of the Impala come to life and roar away; he swallowed around the lump of his throat and, as he fought his tears back in, he smiled to himself. In a way he was convinced by then that their situation couldn’t get much worse so he had a plan. 

 

That night he ordered Sam to sleep after having yet another argument about why Dean was always making excuses for their Dad. After Sam laid down, he sat on the edge of his bed, his shoulders low in defeat, and took one last glance at his brother’s quiet, evenly-breathing silhouette. Then he started to lay out the steps to their new life.

 

Dean checked his crappy watch and decided to make the call, even though it was nearly midnight, because, dammit,  _ Dad could come back at any moment  _ and he wanted to play at being asleep when he did. The phone on the other side rang only twice; it was picked up almost instantly due to the caller ID.

 

“Dean! You alright, boys?” Bobby asked worriedly. For him any call after 10PM meant bad news.

 

“Uhm... yeah, Bobby, sorry about the time…” Dean trailed off, unsure of how to approach the topic he had called about. Intellectually, Dean knew that Bobby loved them as his own; he’d been the person who taught Dean to fish, and taught Sam how to write his first words, and so many other things that their father  _ should _ have taken care of in first place - but he was still their Dad’s best and only friend.

 

“Okay then, spill, boy! What the heck happened that made you call me at midnight?” Bobby snarled. 

 

Dean got up from the bed and went to the window. He pressed his forehead to the glass and, lowering his voice to avoid waking Sam up, he said, “Bobby, I’m sorry, I just didn’t know who to call… I figured I’d call you since you’re the one with contacts, right?” Dean tried to keep it nonchalantly, as if he was about to ask for money for a date. 

 

“Dean…” Bobby’s patience, usually short, was shorter due to being woken up at midnight. 

 

“Okay, Bobby, okay…. Sorry.” Bobby’s eyeroll could be  _ heard  _ over the line. “I don’t know how to say this… Look, we’re in California now and Sammy likes his school and wants to stay and Dad…” He didn’t get to finish, which was fortunate because he didn’t know how to break the news.

 

“John’s gone already?” Bobby interrupted impatiently, already going through his contacts book.

 

“No, but I’m sure he will be in less than a week. There’s a new lead to…” Dean went silent when he heard Bobby huff on the other side of the line. “I just need someone to give me a job without asking questions and a place to crash until I get on my feet. I already got Sammy school stuff, so it’s only gonna be food and rent, if I can get a job.” Dean sounded enthusiastic even for his own ears.

 

“Finally.” Dean heard Bobby breath out. “I’ll give my buddy Rufus a call, he’ll have a job for you ready when you get to his place, also a place to stay. I’ll take care of that. But, Dean…”

 

Dean closed his eyes, waiting for Bobby to tell him to be patient with his Dad, to stop being such a prick and be a good son. 

 

“You could always come back to Sioux Falls, you know that, right? There’s always room for you two here…” Bobby trailed off, knowing full well Dean’s foolish pride.

 

“I know, Bobby, but Sammy… he likes it here… and me too.” Dean sheepishly answered, trying not to hurt his surrogate uncle’s feelings. 

 

“Boy, enough with the moping. Make sure to have everything ready, talk to Sam about this and I’ll be back to you with address and stuff tomorrow. Now go to bed and have some rest. Everything isn’t always your responsibility, son.”

 

**July, 2nd**

 

Dean woke up to the smell of coffee in the air. Sammy had gotten up first and went to get a large cup of coffee and a slice of apple pie for Dean and a cocoa and some healthy shit for himself. Dean smiled at his baby brother; he knew an apology when he saw one. 

 

“I called Bobby, last night.” Dean put up a hand to stop Sam from asking questions or complaining about his big brother telling on him to their uncle because of his argument with their Dad. “Lemme finish. I asked him to help me get a job around here so you can go to that school you like so much and…”

 

“Dean, Dad won’t stay here. He’s already planning on moving to Colorado and…” Sam stopped when Dean lowered his cup to arch an eyebrow to him.

 

“Dad is not staying, Sam… at least I don’t think he will.” Dean shrugged cutting any further questions from Sam about their Dad. “Look, Sammy, I know it scares you to leave Dad but I promise I can handle this and get you through school and…” Dean stopped, surprised to be dragged into a tight hug by his little brother. Seriously, the kid couldn’t get any bigger. “Woah, Sammy, easy, buddy… we’ve got this, okay? I promise.”

 

“You always do, Dean, that’s not what worries me. But you’re saying you’re gonna get a job… what about school, then? Are you gonna ditch school?” Sam sat down again, his expression totally changed by the news; where there was worry before, now Dean could see a mix of concern and excitement.

 

“You’re gonna do what, now?” John opened the door as violently as he had closed it the night before, startling the boys once again. He practically stumbled inside, obviously still drunk or at least hangover. The brothers looked at each other, concerned look on their faces as they turned at unison to face their Dad.

 

“Dad, you’re drunk.” Dean pointed out, matter of factly. He got up from his place by the motel room table and patted his Dad on the back, leading him towards his bed and forcing him to sit on the edge, sitting himself in front of him, “Look, it’s complicated, get some sleep and we’ll talk later, okay?” He smiled when John sighed and simply let himself fall on his side, snoring right away. 

 

“Right…” Dean sighed, turning around smiling widely to hide his doubts. “How about we go downtown for lunch and movies? Drop the puppy eyes, Sammy… it’s gonna be okay.”

 

Sammy smiled at him and Dean’s heart burst with love. He’d do anything for this cute little nerd brother of his. 

 

* * *

 

The rest of the day, they had a nice time. Lunch at the local burger place, ice cream after the movies and a walk around to get more familiar with the place they were about to settle down in. The store windows were covered in red, white and blue, American flags everywhere. Sam seems to be enjoying himself but Dean wouldn’t be fooled by his brother’s fake laughs. The kid was worried and Dean understood it perfectly. 

 

“Hey, Winchester!” a couple of kids called from across the street, waving at Sam and crossing the street to join them. “Where you’ve been? You never made it to Cris’ birthday party.”

 

Any doubts about his decision were blown away with a single look at his brother’s sheepish look. Dean heard him give lame excuses and he was about to say goodbye to his classmates when Dean’s phone rang.  

 

Looking at the caller ID, Dean thought for a second, put some money in his brother’s hand and then he said, “It’s Uncle Bobby. Sam, why don’t you go hang out with your friends here, just make sure to be home by seven.” he turned his back at the teenagers, quickly picking up the call. “Hey, Bobby!”

 

* * *

 

Dean took mental note of the address of this Rufus person that Bobby seems to know enough to trust him with the boys’ immediate future. He checked the time and decided to pay him a visit right away.

 

The guy seemed nice enough, a friend of Bobby’s and former FBI agent. (Dean made a mental note to ask Bobby how the hell would a FBI agent end up as a mechanic) He invited Dean into his garage and showed him his future duties. By the end of the garage tour, Dean was pretty sure Bobby had collected on an old debt.

 

Dean had always felt confident around cars and he proved it to Rufus, who said he would start with the basics, washing tools and assisting the senior mechanic with the final touches on a Toyota Rio. 

 

“What kind of man drives that?” Rufus huffed in scorn. “Anyway, c’mon upstairs. There’s a room for you and your brother, and we can share the rest of the house until you get enough to rent on your own.”

 

“I can’t thank you enough, Sir…” Dean said as they climbed the stairs on the back of the garage. “We won’t bother you for too long, I promise.”

 

“Relax, kid, Bobby’s the closest thing I have to a brother… Old Fool exasperates me like one. If he says you’re good kids, then I’ll trust his word. Besides, Old Man’s been bragging about you two for years, I know who you are…”

 

* * *

 

By the time Dean got back to the motel it was already around six and the room was dark. He turned on the lights and scanned the room for his Dad but he couldn’t see him. He called out for him, thinking that he could be in the bathroom but yet again, nothing. The Impala was outside the room so he should be around somewhere. 

 

Dean started preparing his bags, so that he could help Sammy with his later. He’d thrown his first bag on the table when he saw it. 

 

A note.

 

Dean sighed, took a single step forward and stopped. He crossed his arms in front of him and glared at the piece of paper as if it had personally offended him. It took him a couple of minutes to gather the courage to grab the paper and unfold it. He took a seat, leaned on the table and read.

 

_ Dean, I’m sorry. By the time you’re back I’ll be gone. I need to work some issues on my own to be able to be the father you and Sam deserve. I spoke to Bobby this morning and he told me about your plans and that he’ll help you. You’ve been more a father to Sam than I’ve ever been and I’m sure you’ll take good care of him. You are a strong young man and I’m proud of you. I’m proud of both of you even when it’s not my doing. I’m leaving the Impala with you. Consider it a belated birthday present. I love you both. Dad. _

 

Dean read and reread the note.  _ Selfish bastard _ . But that was exactly what Dean was hoping for, right? Right. And still it hurt like a motherfucker. 

 

Dean grabbed the car keys and rushed outside with a frown, too hurt to even consciously acknowledge the loss. Yes, he thought he was ready for this. But he was still  _ sixteen _ . He might have been responsible for his baby brother since… since he was tall enough to reach the burners and make something more than microwave dinner for him, but he was still used to having their dad there, imagining he was looking after them. But of course the reality was different.

 

The shiny black shape of the Impala greeted him and Dean felt instantly whole. His Dad had left him his car, the one he’d bought for his wife a lifetime ago. He got to keep the only belonging that linked their parents together. He knew his Dad would have never left her if he didn’t intend to come back. 

 

The tears he’d been holding back finally fell, and he let them. He wanted all the feelings of  distress and betrayal to be flushed from his system by the time he had to deliver the news to Sam. 

 

Turned out he didn’t have to be worried about Sam. The kid took the news easily; it was obvious to him that their Dad wouldn’t stay. And to Sam, Dean had always been his paternal figure and he felt safe with him.

 

“So, this is it. A new beginning, Dean?” Dean nodded, “We’re gonna be alright, Dee. I trust you.”  Dean found himself suddenly surrounded by his brother’s arms, warm and grateful. 

 

Dean knew he could do it all for Sam.

 

**July 3rd**

 

The Winchesters brothers threw their bags, filled with their clothes and all of their belongings, into the trunk of the Impala, jumped in and sighed in unison when the engine purred away from the last motel they had to stay in and pretend it was their home. From now on, Dean knew he’d have to work harder than ever, and he was okay with it. He’d also given some thought to school, and even though he wasn’t fond of it, he knew he’d have to finish his grades somehow, sometime in the future. He loved working with cars but he wanted to earn better money than minimum wage.

 

They settled in Rufus’ spare room and had lunch with him, talking and getting to know the grumpy old man. He was grumpier than Bobby - and that was saying something. For some reason, that amused the brothers to no end.

 

Dean had some cash saved up, and since he wasn’t starting his new job until a couple of days after the fourth he wanted to surprise his brother. He dropped him at the local mall and went shopping on his own for some new outfits for Sammy. He got back to Rufus’ early enough to start dinner; the old man wasn’t letting him do anything at the garage until the 6th so he wanted to do something special for him too. 

 

“This was amazing, boy! Where the hell you’ve learnt to cook like this?” Rufus praised, unbuckling his belt. “Shit, I shouldn’t have eaten that last potato, but it was damned good.” He lit his cigar and made the boys sit down when they started to clear the table. “Look, boys. Tomorrow is the 4th and I had already made plans to go to… well, you don’t need the details. Tomorrow you’ll have the house to yourselves. I’d ask you not to burn it down but you’ve proven to be more careful than me, so…”

 

That night, Dean and Sam slept under the roof of an actual home for the first time in years. They knew they’d have to move out soon to a place of their own, but this felt like a breath of fresh air and the brothers embraced it like that.

 

They both fell into an easy sleep, undisturbed by nightmares. 

 

**July 4th**

 

Waking up the next morning was also easy, with the sun filtering through the old fabric of the curtains. Dean beat Sam to the bathroom, and he came out of it brushing his teeth and muttering an unintelligible “Happeh 4th of Julah, Samah!”

 

Sammy laughed out loud and patted his brother on his way to the bathroom. “Happy 4th of July, Dee.” 

 

They dressed and went to the kitchen to have breakfast, only to find Rufus ready to leave; even so, he took a second cup of coffee while Dean prepared pancakes. 

 

The boys ate while chatting about their plans for the day until Rufus couldn’t put it off any longer and had to leave, leaving the boys alone.

 

“So, Sammy… you made any plans for tonight? Any girl you’d like to take to the park to see the fireworks or something?”

 

“Very funny, Dee. Some of the boys…” He didn’t get to finish though, because Dean’s phone rang.

 

Dean’s face turned pale the instant he saw the caller ID, “Hello, Dad.”

 

Two minutes later he hung up and let himself fall on the chair. “He wants to meet us tonight for a late dinner just outside town.”

 

“But Dean, we were going t…” Sam protested, but Dean made him stop by just raising an eyebrow.

 

“I know, Sammy. But he says he wants to talk to us in person because he felt like shit for leaving us with only a note. What was I supposed to say?” Dean dropped the phone on the table and glared at it. He really needed to stop blaming inanimate objects for his shitty luck.

 

“It’s okay, Dean. It’s just that everytime we think we’re out, he drags us back in… I love him but..” Sam trailed off but Dean didn’t need him to finish, he knew exactly what he meant.

 

“Alright. We’ll see what he wants. What if we just forget about that for the rest of the day and go out for lunch? Let’s get familiar with the rest of the city, huh, Sammy? Are you up for a day of doing nothing?” His effort to cheer his brother up must have been pretty obvious because, even though Sam had always hated when he’d try to cover their Dad’s bullshit, he just nodded and started clearing the table.

 

Dean rushed upstairs and placed the bags with the new clothes he’d bought for his brother the day before on Sam’s bed. He returned to the kitchen and told his brother to go change, smiling. 

 

* * *

 

They arrived at the diner that afternoon and found their Dad sober, waiting for them in a booth, dressed in clean clothes with his hair combed. He waved as soon as he spotted them, and the smile that stretched across his face hurt Dean a little more than it should have. They sat side by side to face their Dad and he raised his hand to call the waitress before speaking.

 

“Well, boys… relax, I’m not gonna ask you to come with me, Sam. I know I screwed up with you guys, and I’m sorry. I also know… no, Dean, let me finish so we can have a  _ see you later dinner _ in peace.” Dean shut his mouth in shock, so John took the cue and continued, “Kids, I love you very much and I know most of the time it doesn’t seem like that. If you’ve grown to hate me, it’s my own fault. Sam, I’ve always trusted your brother with your care and he did a hell of a job. He’s better to you than I’ve ever been to him… to both of you. I asked you to come tonight because I wanted to say that I know I’m the one to blame for everything and I also know you’re gonna be far better without me.” He took a sip of water to clear his throat. “Bobby promised to keep an eye on you, because I’m not sure where I’m gonna be, to be honest, and you Dean… you’re good at taking care of your brother. I trust you.”

 

Neither Sam nor Dean found anything to say except empty words of acknowledgment and understanding. They loved their Dad, there was no doubt in their hearts but they’d had enough. Parting ways was the only thing that made sense. 

 

Gradually the mood got better and more relaxed. They told John about their plan to get a place of their own in a couple of months, and he promised to send them money as soon as he made any, but none of them took it too seriously. They still nodded because some extra cash, no matter how hypothetical, was always welcome. 

 

Two hours later, John hugged both his sons with renewed strength, his eyes shining, and patted Dean on the shoulders as they parted. “Look after her for me, son,” he said, nodding to the Impala with a sad smile. He started walking away, turned their way once more and waved at them, silently praying to Mary to look after them for him.

 

* * *

 

Sam’s look of hurt was too much for Dean and even when he felt just as bad, he put his best  _ it’s all right  _ mask on and patted his baby brother on the back. “C’mon, Sammy… I got something to show you.”

 

They were not in the mood to talk just yet so the ride was silent, but fifteen minutes into the drive, the warm air coming through the windows and the music lightened their mood. They got to an open patch of ground laughing and singing.

 

“Dean, what are we doing here? C’mon! Say something!” Sam pleaded.

 

Dean didn’t answer; he just walked around the car and opened the trunk. Is the princess gonna help me or is she gonna stay there brushing her hair?” he joked.

 

Sam rolled his eyes, laughing, and went to help with whatever Dean had in the trunk.

 

“Woah, Dean! Where did you get all this?” Sam excitedly exclaimed.

 

“Well, I thought that since we had to miss the city fireworks show, we might as well have our own. What d’you say? Wanna help me?” 

 

Sam didn’t answer, instead jumping onto Dean and wrapping him in a tight hug.

 

* * *

 

**July 4th, a few years later**

 

“That’s how we decided to stay in Palo Alto.” Dean plants a kiss in Cas’ temple, taking the chance to distractedly wipe a tear before it has the chance to fall. He takes a sip of beer. The four of them are sitting on deck chairs at the city square waiting for the fireworks, Dean and Sam  in the center of their little group. 

 

Gabe respectfully listened to the story, even though Sam had already told him about everything some time after their engagement, because Sam had made him promise not to tell Dean he’d said a word about it. He could only imagine the monumentally important reason for the older Winchester to decide to casually spill it as if it was not big deal.  _ Older brother’s instincts be damned _ , he thinks to himself and smiles against the skin of Sam’s neck.

 

The first explosion took them by surprise and the Winchesters seem delighted by the light show, with equally huge grins. The Novaks’ eyes meet as they’re marvel at their respective partners’ excitement and smile at each other. 

 

Sam and Dean toast and when the younger turns to talk to his husband, Dean looks to his right and lifts Cas’ chin. He gasps and his eyes water again but for a very different reason than before. The blue eyes he came to love so much are wide and reflecting a million colors, and every one of them screams love. Love for him. Love for Dean Winchester. 

 

Dean cradles Cas’ face and leans in as if to kiss him but he doesn’t. Instead he moves to Cas’ ear and sweetly whispers, “Would you marry me?”

  
  



End file.
